How to Influence People

No matter how one looks at it, success and respect come in the form of other people, perhaps even complete strangers. Rare is it in today's world that success will happen in total isolation. No surprise that some of the most successful and respected individuals know a thing or two about how to deal with others. The ability to communicate and influence others' way of thinking, and to actually transform their opinions, is an invaluable life skill.

The obstacle of attaining this life skill is one that everyone faces. Anger, selfishness, and pride all work against our better judgment. The idea is to become proactive, to work toward a resolution rather than toward your own base desires; which will come under fire the more it conflicts with other desires; and so on, until it comes full circle. Disagreements add more fuel to the fire, until neither party is able to influence the other. To be proactive means to step back from the situation, and to examine it from a different angle. Chances are you want your way simply because, well, it's your way. Consider the fact that the other person thinks the same. So be proactive and negotiate yourself out of a one-way street that'll lead to zero resolutions; because while you may get the other person to agree, have you really influenced their opinion?

Look at it this way: "right" is "wrong."

How can that be? The way to peoples' hearts, the way to influence their opinions, is not to impose your will onto theirs'. They first need to see the light before they alter their mode of thought. Approach your opinion as though it were a scientific method, without the pride of being right. It is that very possessive nature that creates disapproval in people. And unless you're in a scientific or highly technical environment, approach the discussion as if it had multiple resolutions. Step outside of yourself and join the team.

The idea is to influence others, rather than simply imposing your will. Become impersonal if you have to; all the better to swim through a sea of ideas and opinions, without the risk of being offended. Assess the problem, and not who said it. A proactive person is more concerned with a resolution than with retribution. The point remains to be said that other variables are at stake, and that "your" viewpoint is not the only path. This does not mean that you cannot disagree. Disagreements are inevitable; but there is a sharp contrast between a personal disagreement and a holistic disagreement. Chances are that a holistic disagreement is a lot more convincing, and more respectable, than a personal one. Because when holistic matters become too personally charged, it becomes detached from a holistic resolution.

The ability to communicate with others is not as vague as it sounds. The abilities to influence and to disagree are the two principle components of a born leader. Because being "right" is only as good as getting the person to agree.

Why is your job really stressful?

In my survey conducted few weeks back I realized a very crucial fact pertaining to professional career. A common question Is your job really stressful? was the theme of the survey. What was really uncommon was the result of the survey. I realized that a majority of the survey takers were happy with their job. Every morning was a new challenge to them as far as their jobs were concerned. However this was a positive feedback and contradicts the fact that many people are unhappy with their jobs. So I researched more on this topic. This is what I found out, 90% of the masses are happy with their job but extremely stressed because of many allied factors. Let us see these factors in detail.

Here goes the boss's pet, a phrase used commonly against people that try to be extra friendly to their seniors or bosses. This is mainly done with the motive to get noticed in the eyes of your seniors or bosses. People who are called so cause unavoidable stress to the rest of their colleagues. Their colleagues won't just envy such people but would be worried that their contribution towards the company would be overlooked and decisions could be influenced by that particular person. On the other side of this story would be the fear incurred by such people, of loosing the attention that they got from the seniors. The co-operation level got by their colleague would constantly be reducing. Hatred and anger would be emotions constantly shown towards people with this behavior. This could be considered as one important factor that could cause that person to part ways from the company or cause their colleagues to do so.

Another point that was high up in the list of factors that cause stress in a corporate environment is sabotage the company. This can happen in many different ways, so let us see few incidents on this topic. This is what happened in one case scenario; A senior chef of a hotel got a better job opportunity at another place. He made up his mind and decided to leave. During his notice period at the company, he offered better job opportunities and remunerations to his junior chefs and asked them to quit too. They did the same and joined him at his new work place. All the chefs who left were happy. However this is not the end of the story, here we see that one person so easily sabotaged the entire hotel. This is one concern that keeps bothering many people. They keep living under the fear that if any member of their team quits then how do they manage the rest of the team, so that it doesn't affect the business

Another cause of the stress element in everyday professional life is competition. In fact competition is one issue that if done over a certain limit could be harmful in any phase of life. This is what I once witnessed; two good friends were employed at the same law firm. They were new and the urge to impress your seniors was obviously. This led to mere competition between the two of them. For every small case they got they was always a tough battle for the poll position. Every case was thoroughly studied, well researched and amazingly presented to their seniors. The seniors were happy with both their performances. However, something that was ignored and later faded was their friendly and their trust in each other. A healthy competition is always a step towards success but over a certain limit it could be very harmful. This competition would make all the competitors stressful. It could cause ill health, mental sickness, employee sabotage or even force an employee to quit their job.

Last but not the least is back stabbing a colleague. This happens in most cases and could cause a lot of stress to the person who is being back stabbed and the person who back stabbed him. The first person may be extremely stressed as he was back stabbed once and would fear to trust any other employee. He might also be forced to quit his job due to bad performance. The back stabber on the other hand will also be stressed because he would fear the fact that someone else could back stab him or else if his colleagues would realize his behavior then they would avoid him and ignore him completely. People generally back stab other friends or colleagues with the intensions of hatred, envy and jealousy.

These were some conclusive factors that the second survey resulted in. One more thing I often see is people often change their jobs because they were offered more pay or a lesser hard working job. Well your work should be spiritual. So work hard and true, there are no short cuts in life. You may try a short cut but soon you will realize that we don't work for the money but we get money because we work.